I'd like to start with the premise that my goal here is not to victimize myself, but I still need to tell you my story as transparently as possible in order to get to the conclusion. So, here's how art somehow saved my life...
I will never forget the year 2017-2018. These were very dark years for me and my mental health was seriously affected by the external circumstances of life including two deaths of my loved ones, a miscarriage, but also by a series of bad decisions, especially in my romantic relationships and ideas of uncalculated scope that earned me a bankruptcy.
As a result of these life trials, months passed and 2019 showed up. My condition deteriorated over time. I still had a big black cloud on my head. My doctor told me that I was in depression and the prescription followed.
Despite my efforts to improve my psychological state, negativity had taken hold of me and I found myself in an endless whirlwind. I was drifting away from all my loved ones and breaking off relationships that were too mentally demanding for me to maintain.
In short, I found myself in a chasm and I did not know how to get out of it. The anti-depressants did not really help, my confidante (my grandmother Ghislaine) was no longer of this world, I did not have enough money to seek psychological help and I did not ask for support from my friends or family by fear of judgment. I won't hide it from you, I've had dark thoughts more than once and getting up in the morning was a chore every time.
Back in time... It is now November 11, 2019 and I am collapsed on my sofa crying, alone, lost and it was at this precise moment that I realized that if I wanted to get out of my situation, I had to fight my dark thoughts. And what better way to counter negativity? Love.
I decided that I was going to learn to love myself and most importantly, do what I love.
I remembered my dream as a little girl: to become an artist. That's when, instead of focusing on my thoughts and feeling sorry for myself, I started listening to my inner child and exploring my creativity.
I had old canvases and paint hidden in a closet, so I dare to take them out, put on music and let myself go.
I was not well equipped, so my hands were my brushes and my table my easel.
This whole creative journey, in tune with myself, was the best therapy to heal my wounds.
I can't explain how Art is therapeutic is for me. As soon as I get started, my thoughts stop and there is only me and my canvas. Through the fluid movements I create on the canvas, my emotions fade. I sometimes see myself dancing and the most revealing is when I look at myself and see the sparkle in my eyes.
I am convinced that we are all a source of creativity! Don't you feel more alive when you try something new? When you travel? When you express your ideas and aspirations?
In all its forms, creativity is in my opinion necessary for the healing of everyone. Whether through meditation, music, sports, art, design, writing, photography.? It could literally be anything you are passionated about.
We all have this creative power. The greatest proof lies in the power to give life.
I write these lines and tell my story in order to inspire as many people as possible to awaken their creativity. I invite you, to take the first step towards your healing process by practicing what makes you feel good.
Jessica Lemieux
Aka the artist behind the artworks signed SKEYES đ
